The Sardarji Encyclopedia

To cheer you up on a Monday Morning

** The Complete Sardarji Encyclopedia **



Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."


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Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.


EMPLOYMENT

Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, and ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected”: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes

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CROCODILE BOOTS.

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made; they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

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A Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The Sardarji then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The Sardarji says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His Sardarji boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The Sardarji replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

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A Sardarji took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"

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What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies? He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

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What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (He already has one and he wants one more...) He takes a photocopy of the white paper!!!

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Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh…we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! We’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA?????"

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardarji?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

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Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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How do you measure a Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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What do you do when a Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you do when a Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.


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How do you make a Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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What is the Sardarji doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

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Why do Sardarjis work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

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Why can't Sardarjis make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

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What do you call 10 Sardarjis standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

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What do you see when you look into a Sardarji's eyes?
The back of his head.

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